Updated: Aug 25, 2019
A neighbor comes to me one evening while I am checking the drought damage on one of my potted trees. Assuredly, I’ve always known I don’t have a green thumb. Though I want one. Here’s the thing, I don’t like Nature. She’s wild and undignified, bouquets of flowers die and the colours don’t match. I have no skill to raise large, fluffy plants like gardeners with award-winning shrubbery. But I wish I had a green thumb. I do like tidy lawns, good landscaping and architectural-enhancing greenery. However, I’ve spread the word that I do not have a green thumb. That is what we call “foreshadowing”. Dun-dun.
While my neighbor and I are conversing, I mention trying to ensure my tree, which is in a pot that is cracked, turns green again with enough moisture. She mentions driving past, seeing the progress of my landscaping, how nice it looks and something about my green thumb. Of course, I “deny, deny, deny”. But I realize later, that while I don’t think I have a green thumb because my yard doesn’t look like those gorgeous gardens on Instagram and though I don’t adequately like flowers, I have the attention to detail, appreciation for the appearance of green life to plant trees, shrubbery and other plants and keep them alive to the enjoyment of myself, my family and neighbors. I’m not like them [REAL gardeners]. But I am enough as I am.
I chase the title “Author” while being too self-limiting to do something about it. My own awe over the title and what I think it entails (wise, sage, oracle, money for books, clean kitchen, etc) keeps me looking around and at other successfully published writers and not forward at my own progress.
We are pretty goshdarn consistent in looking around at others and seeing how well they’re doing at what we want to do/be. However, someone else, in our own sphere, looks at what we do and admires how we do it. Why aren’t we?
I don’t need more than what I have.
I’m enough as I am.
So are you.